When it comes to calling it quits, young couples are normally more decisive. They don’t share a strong bond yet, and their unsatisfied expectations easier outweigh hopes for a better future together. And that’s why the highest divorce rates are usually registered among 1 to 3 years long marriages.
But let’s be honest, a strong willingness to divorce can come at any time. Whether you’ve been 10 or 30 years together, you may suddenly realize that you’re sick of this life. The soul wants changes.
And yet, experts report a rapid decline of divorces after 10 years of marriage. Only a decade together is enough for couples to become less uncompromised in their decisions. Does it mean they’re all happy in their relationships? Not all! Then what happens after 10 years of marriage? We decided to research this problem. See what we found out:
You Share a Strong Financial Bond
A decade together is a long term. In fact, so long that you might have already acquired enough marital assets, many debts, and as many obligations. Even if you feel unsatisfied, a divorce after 10 years of marriage feels unsafe and unknown. You may depend on your spouse’s health insurance plan or they may be the only provider for the family. Parting with these benefits isn’t actually what you want, is it?
The very idea of deciding all these financial issues may be extremely frightening. It will take more than an hour of time for your divorce lawyer to get everything covered. And as many hours of court fights with your partner. Who needs that?
It’s Painful to Divorce Also Your Friends and Families
After a decade of marriage, you can’t divorce your partner alone. As a couple, you’ve most likely made many friends and invented as many rituals and traditions you share with your families and in-laws. Divorce after 10 years will inevitably make your friends choose between you two. Your family and in-laws may take the opposite side. And whether you like it or not, you’ll have to deal with the pain of also losing people from your closest circle. Knowing all this, it takes a lot of courage and perhaps recklessness to go ahead with a divorce.
You Worry For Your Kids Well-Being
As a parent, it’s your sacred responsibility to protect your children from anything that may threaten their happiness, safety, or well-being. You want to shield them from all the pain and unfairness the world offers. To give them the best and be the best for them. To surround them with all the good you can offer.
Many couples have kids after ten years of marriage. But children rarely understand why their loving parents want to go separate ways. They may think it’s their fault they divorce after 10 years of marriage. But even if they don’t, a post-divorce life may be too difficult for them to handle.
That’s why divorcing couples with minor kids are often required to go through mediation or divorce therapy to make this process less hurtful. They’re taught to solve conflicts peacefully and keep their children away from excessive stress. But even so, a divorce after 10 years of marriage with kids around isn’t an easy decision for many couples. Some never dare to seek what they truly want and stay in ruined relationships. At least until their kids grow up.
Becoming Single Doesn’t Seem Safe Anymore
“A bad partner is better than none.” “No one will ever love me again.” “I’m too old to start a new life”. These are the stereotypes people often face after ten years of marriage. In short, they don’t remember how to be single anymore. How to show interest or date someone. And it scares them to death.
Unwilling to put effort into building something new and special, many long-married couples never dare to make the first step to their desired freedom. They choose a partner they’re used to over the unknown. Some, however, manage to add some spark to their old marriage.
Whatever the case is, the fear of being single again is another reason why many long-married couples stall to get divorced.
Leaving a Comfort Zone is Always Challenging
But sometimes, people are just too lazy to change anything. They may be unhappy in marriage but it’s their habitual and understandable unhappiness. Who knows what happens if they divorce, right?
Getting out of your comfort zone is always hard. Especially, when someone has been maintaining it for you for the last 10 years. A divorce would mean that you have to do things you might be unused to – like doing your laundry or earning your bread. And the more time you spend in marriage, the more precious this comfort zone becomes.
They Simply Don’t Want to Divorce
However, many couples stay together after 10 years of marriage simply because they like it. They don’t divorce not because they’re scared to. They just don’t want it.
A decade is a long period, enough to develop a special bond, learn to enjoy a compromise, and find happiness in what you have. Of course, these couples have fights, disagree every now and then, and may even ghost each other for days. But after all, they come back to what they enjoy in their marriage. And forget all the rest.
Bottom Line
Getting a divorce after a decade-long relationship may be complicated for many reasons. Financial insecurity, low self-esteem, children, and even laziness may be the reasons why people continue their ruined marriages for many years more.
One of the most common reasons, however, is the fear of a highly contested process, which may drain you emotionally and financially. So, if it’s what stops you from getting out of the unwanted marriage, consider an uncontested divorce online. You’ll have to call all your charisma and negotiation talents into play to persuade your partner to divorce out of court. But eventually, it will be beneficial for both of you.