If only all men and women spoke one language, but, unfortunately, it sometimes seems that opposite sexes are from other planets. To understand each other, it is vital to avoid sharp edges in conversations. Here are the top phrases your girlfriend definitely doesn’t want to hear from you.
“I do not want to talk about this”
First, mothers put into the heads of boys that “talking about relationships” is not for “real men.” Then, they suffer when women try to discuss something even significant for both. Why don’t men realize that talking about problems aims to reduce stress n the future because ignoring the problem doesn’t lead to its elimination?
In general, all life is stress, but this is not a reason to close at home. The same applies to conversations, even with single girls online. Avoiding in-depth discussions and referring to stress is just a way out of an unpleasant situation. This method is quite infantile. The conversation would not have taken place if there had been no reason for it.
“You got everything wrong”
Caution: may be paired with “it does not mean anything.” Moreover, as a rule, these phrases are not accompanied by a further detailed explanation of the man’s point of view and attempts to discuss. It’s just that the woman “misunderstood him” and has to deal with it herself. At a minimum, this is a depreciation of someone else’s feelings and an attempt to hush up the problem. At its most pure, gaslighting is a form of psychological violence, the main task of which is to make a person doubt the adequacy of their perception of the surrounding reality. Use “I do not think you understood what I meant right” instead. Then it makes sense to explain to let the person understand.
“I have already done it”
“I already gave you flowers on your Birthday.” “We’ve been to the restaurant this Christmas.” Of course, women themselves sometimes behave in such a way that men do not want to do anything pleasant for their beloved. But after all, if your half hints to you that she lacks the “generally accepted romance,” this means that you should try to give it to her. Reminding about past achievements is not an option. Let’s explain with an example. Imagine that you want your woman to help you, and she tells you: “I was already helping you last year.” You sound about the same.
Needs have such a property as cyclicity. That is, you can’t eat for the future, so you don’t have to do this for a month. Of course, the need for attention is of a different order, but it functions according to the same laws. If a woman asked for something more than once, consider that she shared instructions on her leadership. And she will be pleased if this does not go unnoticed.
“Well, I do not know”
If a woman asks a man about something, she does it not for show, but to hear his opinion. “Well, I don’t know” means you do not even bother to think about the possible solutions because sometimes it feels like a man doesn’t care what surrounds him. “What kind of pizza will we order?” – “Well, I do not know.” “Will we go by car or take a taxi?” – “Well, I do not know.” How do you live your life then if you do not know how to?
Several options are possible here. First, a woman addresses a question, and she does not have her own decision. If a man doesn’t have one either, she gets annoyed because two people get stuck in the dead end. To find someone who will give guarantees and share responsibility is the eternal problem of man. Forget, no one is obliged to decide for you. The second option — a woman has your own vision of the issue and asks the opinion of the man to find a solution that satisfies both. If a man doesn’t care much about a solution to a minor issue, this is normal. In this case, a woman is free to make a choice herself.
“Yes, yes, I understood everything”…
… and five minutes later comes the question, “Oh, wait. What did you say?” — or even worse, “You didn’t tell me that.” Do not blame others for their own forgetfulness and make a fool of a woman. In addition, such situations are merely insulting, the feeling that your partner doesn’t want to listen to you is miserable. Is this respect for the partner? No, this is another example of infantile behavior.
Such situations often occur not so much because of a formal relationship with a partner, but rather because of the fast pace of life, large amounts of information and, as a result, distraction. This explains everything, but nevertheless, it can be quite unpleasant, even if at the time of the conversation, the man is simultaneously busy with something else. In this case, it makes sense either to postpone things for a while and end the conversation or to postpone the discussion and finish the business first.